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Think of the sea as you murder me
this is a fun thing to do I'm gonna keep doing it

  1. "if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or like this" TECHNICALLY was around since at least dec. 30

  2. in greggs? yeah it was in greggs which has been around for longer but I keep seeing new variations of it

  3. "you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety" a wonderful meme

  4. davey cameron is a pie

  5. donald trump, etc is also 69 exchange them

  6. bowie trolling everyone by dying and predicting it in a video

  7. not so much a meme just tired ole discourse of RECEIPTS!!!! every time someone famous dies and apparently no one is allowed to be sad about it whatever

  8. luke is gay and/or trans Confirmed

  9. carrie fisher's three feelings, her retweeting lots of stuff, Confirmed space gay

  10. blinq which is yet another thing that measures your age and how hot a photo is (wildly innacurate)

  11. hillary clinton's tryhard campaign

  12. dj khaleed's snapchat

  13. tumblr making a pathetically in-depth survey thing about replies and people responding in really sarcastic ways

  14. football delaying the first new x files episode

  15. "tag yourself i'm the ___" was already a more broad meme since last year, but all of a sudden on jan 24 has become a very specific incarnation with a selection of at least 6 badly-drawn-in-ms-paint animals or other simple creatures, different colours, with humourously odd names (spiders georg wouldn't be out of place) and short bullet pointed personality descriptors, also quite random and specific. can you tell I'm a fan of this one

  16. fuckg mario 64 playthrough guy and parallel universes and "the distance he moves isn't necessarily equal to his speed"

  17. #FingerInTheBootyAssBitch

  18. "a photographer took pictures of people before and after she called them beautiful"

  19. conversion rates for horsepower of other animals

  20. bernie vs hillary views on: ______

  21. roosh v pet shop secret spy code

  22. tony the tiger harrassed by furries

  23. jean meme (jeme). similar to snake/snail meme from last year. this I think originated/popularised with that "his jorts, his jants, his japris" post

  24. the frame of marge simpson doing that dance pose. started with the comic where she looks at the 4:20 clock and does it?

  25. Reaction Bros ?? they're so ugly. they want to own the reaction video format or something?

  26. What dog breed are you

  27. "damn daniel back at it again with the white vans" honestly my initial thought (beyond "gay") was, is this a throwback to the godfather of all vines, Back at it again at Krispy Kreme?

  28. Jeb Bush quits race. Everyone, no matter how leftist, is like, genuinely sad and sympathetic for him, which is confusing. Resurgence of memes about "please clap", the little tortoises, etc, especially as montages set to sad music. Jokes about him disappointing his family, one child left behind, etc.

  29. lord kitcshener, which is honestly where I get a lot of meme awareness tbh so they are overrepresented here but now they're using the term "tradneet" for the tradnats, and often reoccuring is their cuck, kek, current year, evropa shit, but I can't really gauge how vast the anti-fascist memer universe is beyond them and a few of their friends

  30. the arkh project fucking returns, but now they're making an undertale ripoff? crowdfunding on youcaring of all places

  31. BOB (that airplanes guy) really seems to think the earth is flat. seems to lowkey be a thing people are actively fighting against now on tumblr, instead of just ignoring those people (who exist, bizarrely). also, I really wonder what he thinks of airplanes' relation to a flat earth.....

  32. neil degrasse tyson calling out/rapping at BOB, also in general interrupting/shutting people down, especially funny when it's not relevant

  33. feb 26: what colour is this adidas shirt. yes, this again

  34. chris christie standing behind donald trump

  35. we dem boys

  36. animal, or food item? 4x4 squares. hopefully not alternating consistently since that just makes it too disappointingly easy.

  37. boaty mcboatface

  38. old friends senior dog sanctuary (not really a true meme, too pure)

  39. bernie secret disney princess bird

  40. "ellen, give him 15k" about anything particularly unimpressive especially if it's like straight allies or something

  41. history of japan video. there was a post also going around talking about how it was briefly a thing when it first was uploaded at the start of february and then had a second wave mid-march (I think I watched it the first time but not sure??). also praising it for having so many things memeable about it (like the mario vid). personally I like it because it reminds me of End Of Ze World

  42. don't talk to me or my son ever again (usually a smaller copy beside the thing)

  43. "dark ___, show/take/give me ____"

  44. who are you? i'm you but stronger

  45. blurry screenshot of mr krabs (idk what the joke is tbh)

  46. get you a man who can do both

  47. need me a freak like that

  48. loss.jpg (it took me so long to add this but i thought i already did)

  49. google translating japanese emoticons

  50. "[fandom]af" urls. i guess it's the new fuckyeah___

  51. hillary hot sauce pandering (apparently not, she's been doing it for years, but, the idea of this is still very funny)

  52. donald trump said 7/11

  53. jared leto hot topic banksy pg13 joker

  54. there was that facebook basketball game that seemed to gain popularity irl very quickly at the end of march but idk what happened

  55. did i really forget to add ted cruz is the zodiac killer

  56. "can we listen to something besides ____?" / *girl falling out of car door*

  57. dat boi (frog on unicycle)

  58. I feel like DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE has already been a meme for like 12 years but it seems to be slightly more popular maybe

  59. eurovision. love love peace peace, australia not being european and almost winning, poland lookalikes, furry legolas, weeaboo germany, to name a few

  60. tumblr put scrollbars on every post like a bad custom layout design from 2002, for like 10 minutes maybe

  61. hold the door (game of thrones? joke? idk)

  62. chewbacca mom bless her. can't wait for the snapchat filter to come out

  63. #elbowgate (no idea how far outside of this shitty country this has gotten)

Current Mood: drunk drunk
Current Music: bee gees we lost the road

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I am still very much kicking, and dreaming, cba to ever write it down though (although sometimes in my notebook)

Today dream was 90s Take That being handcuffed and thrown into a dungeon and SexyTime which was awesome, also hanging out with exbff and her sister?? in buildings. it's her birthday today incidentally? thanks brain

watched Room yesterday in theatre (not even widely released yet! heheh) and it was fuckin mindblowing and fucked up in a good way. Not to sound like a pedophile but holy shit I care so much more about little boys when they have long hair (also any boys but I mean) and as soon as he gets it cut I'm like "oh this is not a cool unreal small adult, this is just an annoying male child" it's a weird disconnect like I honestly forget I was really excited about the concept of baby boys when my brother was small and cute, but now I'm like "how the fuck they're so ugly tho" but you know why? it's cos they get dressed in ugly clothes. but I genuinely cared about this child. apparently that was a wig though. it's so weird seeing an interview with him because like... I think of him as an adult with serious actorly pursuits and it's this genuine like "I like lego" person.... kids are weird holy shit I will never get over this. Thankfully I don't think I had a nightmare based on that luckily

I have a (not official or exclusive) Boyfriend btw from that foray to a small town. Found a cute boy. Do not want to be official or exclusive tbh. He has gone on dates with 2 different boys since we've met and 96% of my reaction to this is "this is good" because it's actually what I want? and I'm still pursuing (read: being wistfully inactive about) Grl etc and I don't even wanna date a boy esp not one that lives 2 hours away so this is the ideal kind of situation.... just a cuddle boy.......... mmmm

anywayCollapse )

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Current Mood: pensive pensive
Current Music: my dead town mix

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It seems lately, like this past week that despite taking the meds (iron and vitamin d) it's not enough somehow? I'm still exhausted in the afternoon/early evening. For a few days I have been channeling this into reading further in Everybody Was So Young which is a GREAT book. I have the older weaker vit d pills so I've been taking one later in the day as well to try to prevent this. I think I might go for a kip now though.

also, I have had this song stuck in my head for days and I was sure it must be some kind of mid 00s lame slow pop song, but no, it is 2015 Muse. unbelieb

dream included being back at high school, the STANDARD, first class finishes but I don't know what/where my next one is, so I go downstairs to the lobby to be told where to go and get in line which is already long lol. Also trying to remember my fukin locker combination. meeting this girl ML I haven't talked to since like grade 11 (apparently still in high school) and she was all like "your voice has changed" and I was like yeah no shit. I think my sister was going to school at the same time as me. And other important quests of trying to find where teacherifancy was.

Another thing we were on a shoot and gay stuff with L, or Greg sort of it changed (in a pleasant way), then whoever it was supposed to be was asleep and I had to carry him outside and lay him on a park bench. At this point it was like carrying a five year old though :( But there was a ginger cat playing pingpong outside with its lady owner. The cat was on the table, holding the paddle, and talking in a very mature husky possibly british male voice, discussing smart topics.

When I did wake up for real though that feeling of carrying my sleeping boyf was unforgettable. What an experience tbh. Put that shit on my bucket list!!!!!

Current Mood: drained drained
Current Music: muse - aftermath

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  1. tom hardy

  2. chris pratt

  3. chris hemsworth

  4. chris evans

  5. pantyhose-filled-with-rocks-arms channing tatum

  6. the guy from pacific rim

  7. the second guy from pacific rim

  8. gary barlow (ok maybe not as mainstream)

luckily fancying benedip cumberbap/matt smith/tom hiddleston/etc has fallen out of fashion of late but in return we have THIS


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Current Mood: rejuvenated rejuvenated
Current Music: running up that hill

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dumb music thingCollapse )

Current Mood: lonely lonely
Current Music: talk radio about doggy day care

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unganeshing? or something like that: weird meme where people unfollow almost everyone they follow on twitter? so my follower count went from 36 (its current very stable position) to 2, which I think was Beth and Susan. was very sad to lose Greg lmao. Incidentally I decided this meme was STUPID.

walking around yet another rich people's house, sort of under the bridge again, but this time also it was the lgbt youth centre place, that had relocated to that street? It was in this weird building that was like a seesaw, just a long staircase leading up to a tiny room, not where anything could fit, and apparently this was all because of the provincial government cutting funding to it (they did cut funding to a bunch of stuff, but this isn't actually funded by the govt). apparently this centre had actually had a presense in my high school and/or junior high, and I was very mad at the government for fucking it up and essentially making it non-functional, only as a tiny storage space or closet ha ha!

also stuff about road that fam house is on, and increasingly weird cars going down it, and my whole family out there pointing each one out. Me taking pictures even though I suspected somehow it was a dream or that there'd be some other excuse for why I wouldn't get to have them later on. Apparently up till that point the coolest thing was the green house neighbours across the street's car would just morph from green to blue, yellow, or red and cycle very quickly, which I also suspected was weird/magical but whatever. Trying to point out to Bobus each thing so she definitely wouldn't miss it. The cars would just sort of fade out when they got to the end of the road. And eating blueberries! Also there was something about packing a black van, a family thing but I don't think it was my real family exactly, a made up, more normal family.

Also worrying about having to go back to school this friday? college but maybe high school, but I think college subjects ie writing responses or smth to movies we'd watched. And then I remembered, oh I'm graduated, I don't need to do that anymore, although I think I had been present in the classes to watch the actual movies or something.

Current Mood: dorky dorky
Current Music: bee gees - black diamonds

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Filming in a big house, arriving in the early morning, trying to get around, find food, etc.

Some other russian woman peeing in my bathroom, keep trying to contain her, she keeps morphing, like a SU gem or whatever, starts to get intense because it's getting impossible but I know I have to plead with my brain to finally just let me have this, we're going through like the basement of that film house, eventually we do catch her somehow, and then the credits roll and it's on a laptop but I think no I'd rather watch this on a big projector screen. Cool effects, like oldschool film projector flickering on the credits and pictures from preproduction, like concept art and such?

also, I need to make a Mark icon on here. and an Alstew icon ofc. This is a plus account right? that distinction doesn't exist anymore, plus vs basic, I can have more than 6, it's like 12 or 14 or something. An Anna icon would be good as well on occasion.

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Current Mood: enthralled enthralled
Current Music: jeff wayne war of the worlds

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new bus terminal beside bridge, pathway straight across underneath (or through traffic?? like a highway on the bridge) seeing a nice shot down corridor, seeing a mini pirate ship turn around a corner, foggy, dramatically lit.

high school
slow dancing
WOMEN ONLY gender-neutral bathrooms
figure skating, faking only if you can do ballet, hold my baby

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Current Mood: tired tired
Current Music: macleans leaders debate

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I had a dream about busses of course, and about how teacher Mrs M who taught my siblings in grade 1 is retiring apparently irl?? and irl I was like "what she's so young" and in the dream it was the same confusion. Also being in this long white bathroom room with several consecutive doors, and also side doors, so it was of course really untrustworthy, and then my sister was taking a bath that filled up the whole room and there were unflushed poops in the toilet that floated up? Not cool.

Also it was a mcdonalds, or at least similar to another dream I once had about a mcdonalds in this minimalistic sparse sort of place.

I called my endo today lmao!!!!! Good for me!!!! I also did my t injection finally, I've been putting it off for about 4 days now I guess, I'm sooo bad at this kind of thing. There was a tumblr post that was like "me. I would be that kind of werewolf" to forget and that's me too, with menstruation as well as the thing that supposedly stops it (further criticism send via pigeon directly to my endo as well lmao). Then afterwards I felt the intense PILLS-LESS tiredness, although I had taken both vitamin pills, and antidepressants last night like usual etc, so idk if it was me reacting to willingly waking up before noon a bit too many times or maybe the hormone shit affects it??? Anyway so I went to attempt a nap at like 7:30pm but it didn't work out. Too warm (the sun has finally come back grrrr), too bright sunset, neighbours on deck talking too loudly and interestingly. Golly I can't wait to see how many times I dream about them this summer :p

So I got back up eventually because I remembered that, shit, I may not have internet on my desktop (at least not without unplugging it from my laptop and difficult manoevering the cable to stick in its behind which I can't really see) but I have all those shows torrented! Let's watch IASIP! Except joke's on me because I've already watched all the IASIP I've got which I think goes up to season 7. So I watched the behind the scenes/dvd extras videos. Then I seemed to be on an informational kick for once, and actually felt like googling and reading really boring stuff! Including: when the eff does the gender marker change provincial law come into effect (it's in limbo I guess), russia transgender stuff (waaay too much shit about some law banning trans people from driving in january which I'm pretty sure didn't even pass), drivers license acquiring, also medium format cameras, iso speed/grain removal, and downloaded Lightroom 5.6 which for some reason I didn't have (I have the 5.5 suite? is it not a part then?) haven't installed it yet though.

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Current Mood: nerdy nerdy
Current Music: horslips - dearg doom

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?? I keep thinking it's something but it must've been yesterday, with the redecorating?? But I do think it was like a sequel today, and going back in time slightly and stuff about having a wet floor? And having pets and driving towards famhouse along the costal road.

Ah I just remembered, there was a big thing about discovering some black and white super rare/lost Monty Python videos or something? And a bunch more stuff. And it was digital, on a hard drive. I guess this is because yesterday I read so much about the JFK assassination Zapruder film and it really blows my mind to think about video as being this physical limited thing that is so easily lost or damaged...

I was with someone, who seemed really untrustworthy and it was technically their video, and I was really worried they'd try to destroy it? And it was just so much of trying to convince them to copy it, or distract them and copy it myself, etc etc. Part of the issue was that it was like a super high quality copy of the filmstock and it was in 6k resolution so it was huge and took a very very long time to copy anyway. Not sure I fully succeeded at any point.

Then I was hanging out at the mcdonalds here (which is open 24 hours a day) at like 4am and bought myself an ice cream and read the newspaper (it was right on the cusp of when the next day's newspaper should come out?) and the mcdonalds was, in the dream, literally right beside the bridge so I was watching them taking the bridge apart (wow I keep dreaming about this EVERY DAY haha) and waiting for it to open (it opens at 5:30 I think?)

I had the footage and other stuff on the drive (a nice trippy 70s movie, among other things, I think some really good cover of As the World Falls Down too) on two separate drives. And was trying to go into this big field where I could hide them in separate spots (they combined to make the whole thing I think, not that they both had the stuff on them). There was a big yellow thing like egg yolk, and really it was all very surreal like an imvu room with outer limits, so I couldn't go that far. I had a bright yellow horsedrawn? carriage that I was using to travel through this land (it was autumn I think and it was the leaves that were so yellow)

Also I remember driving away from someplace and seeing a giant, like human-sized eagle or something on a roof, but not thinking much of it and not going to take a picture. I think I didn't want to look stupid to the people I was with.

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Current Mood: flirty flirty
Current Music: lana del rey - young and beautiful

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Been having a time! On set! Mostly getting by very well on not-enough-full-on-sleep-but-feel-fine-with-vitamins, except this past last day or two. Dreams have been a bit vague at times, not as solid as these past few ones. Also following all this life-changing eventfulness, guess who's got a crush, actually who's got a friend, that has become a crush, but it's all okay I'm ok with this all. I definitely need someplace to direct my emotions and this is fine. Feeling heart-stabby all the time is fine for me I guess just keepin it real.

Yesterday after filming went to bed probably by 11pm, woke up at 9am because I can no longer wake up late apparently (I guess that's a good habit) but went back to bed at 5pm and slept for a couple hours. This last dream was about redecorating my place! But the usual stuff of like, oh I actually have all these extra secret rooms and all this furniture already that I can just go nuts with. And I had all these hilarious joke portraits of musicians and such that I'd apparently had since my classic rock phase and they were still funny. Also putting up lots of maps. That's a good idea actually, I neeeeed more wallart. Gotta get some maps

And the nighttime dream was about this black teenage trans girl living in some tiny american town with her mother in a house next to a very popular ice cream shop, and all the kids keep encroaching on their property and disrespecting her. She was a really good like, performance artist I guess? With colour guard moves, and spoken word/singing, and blue sparkly leotard. And it was like, I hope Ellen Degeneres or Jon Stewart or somebody discovers her so she can get out of this hellhole that they're living in.

Also my wifi router? thing? broke a while ago, like there are two routers idk why it's set up like this but the second one broke which is the one I can actually connect to via wifi, so now I can only use the ethernet cable for internet which means no internet on my phone or one my computers.

I need to!

  1. Polish my film from june and upload to youtube

  2. Call endo about getting a fuckin letter already

  3. Call mental healths to see if they've forgotten about me

  4. Sign up for driving course

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Current Mood: groggy groggy
Current Music: mark owen - stars

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I'm sick wtf!!! I didn't even do anything yesterday, although the day before I was very cold and wet all day and on minimal sleep, but wow this still isn't fair at all. I need to record a voiceover, like, tomorrow at the latest lmao.

Dream included a new Delays album and I was just CASUALLY listening to songs, not marathoning it like I would do for real

Current Music: bee gees - lamplight

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Monday: 3 dreams.

1. there was a first dream but now I don't recall :(
oh maybe it was hs stuff, yeah, school bus drama, and yet again trying to get to the city bus terminal, and then to the city, or maybe this was the next dream...
2. doing stuff for W, in this outdoor office by the highway, copying files or something. and my big dreams of opening a lil shop on the outskirts of town as a way of fighting suburbia/sprawl somehow?? I wanted to call it Snazzy but in a funky way but had a hard time not having "nazi" in the word. then trying to get through the entire city at night to get back hoooome.
3. A Monster Like Me except it was Felix and one of the clones from Orphan Black and like building a big white roller coaster in RCT to match the song?? and there was some evil guy


1. It being the end of the world soon, and like this is inescapable, and climbing up a steep cliff neighbourhood and it was very sunny and happy-looking, but we knew we were going to die in some way very soon... rehearsing dances with dance people, and also meeting GH again, a boy I haven't seen since grade 8, and that was a lil weird and a lot emotional.

2. Going thru old clothes/etc at fam house, like there was a secret room almost full of stuff, mostly my old stuff but then also a lot of stuff that was just like at a second hand place? or a "free yardsale" as we call it, and there were some barbie clothes and I was like OH BOY grabby hands, but there were also other people there and I was trying to refrain to not seem so obvious. showing stuff to my siblings I think?

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Current Mood: cheerful cheerful
Current Music: muse - big freeze

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went to bed at 12am, woke up first at 7am, then 9-10am for alarms, turned off the one in the next room and went back to bed, woke up at 2pm?? alright!!!

the first sleep was about meeting this cute russian boy and hanging out in fam neighbourhood esp down the back hill but with my mum there too and it was a bit awkward and I was trying to ascertain that this was definitely a gay thing bc I'm a boy, but like not having any of the words lol.

I think then the last section of sleep dream was sort of similar though? it was like MCL dating game but the inverse where I actually got to be the boy with a cute girlfriend, which was NICE, but there were more russians all in this new suburban neighbourhood I'd just moved to and I was going over to their houses, and joking like I don't want to get lost tho (because all the houses/street layouts look the same) and going in to a house and saying hello in russian to my friend's grandmother and worrying that all the relatives won't like me cos I'm so queer??

it was very sims-y too trying to figure out the layout, and I think I was living with just my grandmother, not my real one tho, a much nicer one, maybe my maternal one (who's been dead for like a decade welp) and she had to sleep on the couch? And I was like nah this can't be right, this house is huge. Even if it's a half-house (what is the term?) there should still be enough room for a room for her plus even a guest room, etc, for my russian friends. There was one annoying girl (from the dating game?) who was like an annoying goth/emo type and I had devised a plan where when she came over while I was gone, my grandma had to show her a photo, I forget what it was but it was supposed to make her not want to date me anymore? But when I got back she was still there in our house because apparently my grandma had tried to show her but she didn't pay attention? so grandma gave up, and I was disappointed for that. I think we had a dog also.

There was another part about the road to the landfill, and the big lake in the middle of the town/neighbourhood, and there was a court session? the actual Queen Elizabeth II was there, and there were 6 suspects I think, all positioned around this giant lake that I could somehow zoom out from and I chose a spot to sit where I could see most of them across the water. Tumbl friend SH was one of them, but she was really confused like "the last time I bought a laptop this happened and now you are accusing me" like she really should not have been a suspect, to the crime? which I'm not sure what that was. There was a part where I was with the cute boy friend who was taking photos near the train tracks when a blue super fast train came, and he was quite far away but it was really wide, and like, supersonic, so I didn't even SEE him get killed and then I was backpedalling like nah maybe it just pulled/threw him further down, not run over, replay this again and again. I think I was taking a picture of him on my phone at the time so there were those photos to try and see what happened. I think, canonically, he did end up alive tho just because I willed it so hard. Maybe this accident was the crime? or there was some middle-aged russian couple with a greasy husband I think they were the real culprits in the end. there was also a part where there was a killer or smth on the loose and I went to hide, brilliant idea to hide in the women's washroom instead of the men's because it's less expected? or something. Trying very hard to find the best stall because of course the cracks between the door and frame were huge so had to find the best angle where I wouldn't be seen from, and standing up on the toilet, etc, and there were other people there (including grl from school TS?? wow what a throwback) and someone handed me some juice boxes in a knowing way, like you'll need the sustenance if you're hiding out here.

Current Mood: complacent complacent
Current Music: muse - madness

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haha I went to that queer thing again, the good one with the free food and relatively mature university-level crowd, good, also I was impressing everyone with my art skillz lmao?? then I walked into the cemetery to find a good transfer, then around the citadel, looked at paper and notebooks in staples (still nothing like what I want! holy shit!), walked more and found more mugs and rly good locations and then took a bus finally to near home and walked.

dream was about having an appointment of some sort at 8:30, not sure if morning or evening, I guess morning and then my mum insisted on waiting for my brother to get ready so then it's like 10:30am, and my mum is the one that insisted on this appointment and so I was rubbing it in that it was her fault I missed it, was she happy, etc. Then that weird high-school-at-jr-high type of dream, and art class, which was in this red-upholstered tiny theatre-like room with a big red desk at the front and seating sloping down the floor, and then art teacher [i] was like "I need a model" and I instantly volunteered as she was saying "a female preferably" and it was awkward cos, what am I???? I think the main thing was actually that male models all get boners obviously, and she reluctantly agreed to me bc I was so eager, but it wasn't the best choice, or so she thought, but tbh she was right cos she tried positioning me on my haunches with one knee facing in a specific direction and the other in another and I was not to move but of course I couldn't help but move and teeter over.

I think I woke up at like 6:30am and then 8:30 before my alarms started at like 9:20 probably.

Finally just fully read, not skimmed, the letter from friend HB which is.... impressive, it's been actually less than a week! improving lmao. I'm pathetic

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Current Mood: giddy giddy
Current Music: mew - an envoy to the open fields

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friday: more dance stuff uhhh oh and the like. going to get the mail at fam house, and it was a very bizarre transit map that you had to cut apart and stick together to make like a pop-up 3d map but it was super confusing. also take that's gay stage dance moves?? also then piling into weird steampunk cars and going over the flood or something. me trying to get in The Gay Car where the cuddly famous people were

thursday: was this the north/south carolina highway boycotting the state gay dance stuff thing. there was a cake

wednesday: was this the big house? again? that house with all the rooms that was in another dream some time ago, it reappeared. jfc brain stop with the bizarre continuity

earlier days I mentioned on twitter very slightly

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Current Mood: rushed rushed
Current Music: my "dead town" mix

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today it was about having a larger apartment with "levels" and teleporting between them like irl sims? I woke up at like 8pm and was generally depressed about lack of time and was trying to rearrange everything, I had a tv screen where my comp actually is irl and then two monitors not hooked up to anything, one I placed beside it and the other in the other-level copy of the room I think. I went into the bedroom and the pile of clothes was moving I thought maybe it was a mouse (saw one yesterday at dance) but it was a kitten! Cos apparently I had two cats that I thought had died probably but they had a baby and it survived too. But it was hungry and all I had was a lot of really old food lying around but still managed to get something.

Was also stuff about dance? Maybe yesterday too. Def stuff abt grl, and like with JA trying to make me guess which one of them had a crush on me/asking which one I liked? I think this may have been another dream on another day recently. I admitted that yes some of these girls are very pretty, altho they are like 17 and I don't actually have a crush on them but I can appreciate beauty thank u, but I have a real crush on grl, who apparently did on me too, in that dream?? Lol

Actually woke up before noon tho. I have been very cold today which has affected my urges to actually clean, although it has been on the positive scale outside.

Had a lot of reminiscing over Abselk, aka my fav band evar, and the long lost "we are here" video of James and Mike in the hotel, which I even googled for again and on the first page of results is me sending an ask to their tumblr, back when they (Mike) had it for a brief period of time (and followed me I think lol) and he'd been like "yeah looks like it got deleted idk" so no one knows. it only lives on in my memory I think cos I never downloaded it, unless I did, but cba to look since I'll probably be disappointed. I did go and download all the other important vids off their channels now tho. Our Singer's Name, Frog Song, etc plus music vids and the black and white concert vids ahhhhh.

anyway then I got onto desktop and watched some old camcorder stuff from like 2009-2011 that I had in my main home folder. Nuts!!! Crazy! But not unwatchable and I could possibly at some point actually edit something out of it. Maybe. So weird though, and it's not even close to being all of it since I have literally hours and hours still on probably like a hundred of those little mini discs (each is an hour). I think I want to recapture everything off them, with some kind of fancy newfangled technology now that I understand video quality a little bit better, and to at least try to get rid of the giant data squares? if possible, and also I noticed some glitches in the files, idk if those are on the cds permanently or if they came on when I was originally ripping them to my linux computer back in the day. 480i on minidvd!!!!!!!!!! christ

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Current Mood: curious curious
Current Music: janelle monae - come alive

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monday: stayed at fam house that night.

tuesday: crow unicorn bat flying things outside my window. drawing cover page in class with ec, gj etc hs people, for a book I realised I hadn't read, or was it orphan black, with the invisible car like in the mando diao video? in basement of mall/food court, coffee straw things and being indecisive with t, weird baby cannibal, hs boys, holding hands walking down sidewalk quite gay. also being at bridge terminal at like 9am, and w came onto the bus (that was changing its number I guess?) and I was just confused cos I had no plans of where to go or what to do really. and I sat beside KS and BD, a couple in hs that I recently realised have broken up, and in the dream I was like "it's cool you guys can still pretend to be together" for some reason idk they were being crafty

also I woke up at 9am alarm and had the one in the other room set and my mum phoned me and everything but I still went back to sleep for 2 hrs till 11:30am hahaha so I didn't go to clear snow till like past noon but oh well no one has to know.

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Current Mood: annoyed annoyed
Current Music: janelle monae - sincerely, jane

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Graduated high school.
Kissed someone.
Collected something really stupid.
Smoked a cigarette.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time without sleep.
Lied to someone.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Had detention.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Had a yard sale.
Had a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Swam with dolphins.
Taken a lie detector test.
Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you shouldn’t have.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Been in a fist fight/split one up.
Gone surfing in California.
Had a hamster/guinea pig.
Pet a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Know someone with HIV or AIDS.
Made out with someone.
Played on a sports team.
Snuck out of the house.
Swore at a teacher.
Gone laser tagging.
Had a romantic relationship.
Been on the TV.
French braided.
Driven a car.
Performed in front of an audience.
Gone bungee-jumping.
Been to Mexico.
Crashed a car.
Sky dived.
Been kissed in the rain.
Made an 11:11 wish.
Drank alcohol.
Made a mistake.

Current Music: take that - greatest day

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wedensday: being in my old room at fam house and yet again going thru old clothes in the closet and my brother and dad in particular being annoying and coming in a lot and me saying extremely mean things to my dad etc and how I was completely disowning him and such, yknow the usual lol

thursday:  finding some guy on vine that looked a bit like J that was from te uk that had a "mario mario mario" joke that was apparently really funny and like showing it to J and then they ended up dating? or something, well that was nice. also planning to go to a party with J and A etc I guess? and having pizza delivered to me, but it had all the toppings separate. then realising it was evening and I somehow had no idea what happened to the previous 12 hours. did I tell mum about dentist rescheduling? did I actually go? how did I get from famhouse to my apartment? did I pay for the pizza? I was naked, did I answer the door naked? Basically I had absolutely no idea what was going on at all, and it felt bad man, then I actually woke up tho and it was only like 9am and I told my mum about the dentist and all was well.

was this also the one where I wanted to get a telescope and my mum was like what, to spy on boys and I was like no to watch the container ships unloading

friday: being at elem school, Kite Runner-inspired? story of boy that got beat up and left to die in a public bathroom. Re-experiencing it and willing him to just crawl outside, so someone could find him in time to get help. then at this fancy school place for making boys hot, some actual children there at first but no brain that's gross, anyway it was about like applying makeup and putting them in thin clothes and making them sit very close in compromising touchy feely positions and just generally. extremely extremely gay and pretty and sexy.

I was going to draw stuff but then I saw this, which is from some other thing but I thought might be BOTFA-inspired lol, anyway yeah that beige drapey shirt is EXACTLY the thing.

also like groping some guy that was full of wheat or oats or something and getting it all over me? in a gross way? ok. and trying to brush it all off and my sister was there and I was embarrassed about where I had to brush it from (I mean just like my back and butt not like anything serious thank god)

also two of the boys at this school were like satanists or monks or something in pretty blue robes also quite a strong current of some of us are ftm here, but everything is completely great and un-dysphoric for everybody, everyone can be comfortable with their body for once (prob cos we had actually had surgery and stuff lol) well that was nice!!!

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Current Mood: good good
Current Music: delays - winter's memory of summer

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